"A faith without suffering is not faith"

So I decided to start blogging again!
Its has been a journey.. over the past few months. I have been thinking alot about the journey that i have been on, and that God says that in his word,"You keep track of all my sorrowsYou have collected all my tears in your bottle.You have recorded each one in your book." Psalms 56:8 How amazing is this...not only does he hear your cries about our anxieties..but he loves you enough to bottle them up. you want to know something that changed my heart about my seizure.I realized i was angry i at GOD, which is ok, God knows my heart, and releasing my frustrations could bring me clser to the Lord. I could not see the Lord in all of the seizure situation and felt a little abandoned. The Lord has always given me extreme amount of faith so its not life i lost my faith , but i knew that i wasnt the same since my seizure either, but i didnt really know why until i started praying and asking.
so I told him, then I asked him to show me where he was when i had my seziure because i surely didnt feel him, and you know what I completely look at it differently. God showed up in amazing ways over the past few weeks. it was like once i told the Lord i was frustreated and gave that to him, He was like, ok now let me walk you in freedom. And he has taken me back over those moment of my seziure and the ambulance ride and shown me where he was. He was there holding me when I fell on the floor in the restraunt, and was there in the ER, He was there through the family there took care of me. He has been there the past couple of months, through the frustrations of the migraines, the taking new medicines and not being able to drive once again.
I am was silently hurting but I am ok with that, because through the hurt God has brought so much restoration, I have felt like he has said " I am sorry you didnt feel me near, but I was there all along, I not only heard you crying, i have bottled your tears and have them written on a ledger. " This blogging thing is part of what God is teaching me now. Its been a couple of weeks but that moment of clarity is still clear in my head. I am now doing a study on Giants and David slaying them. Did you know that there was more than one? The bible talks of the army slaying more than just one (1 Samuel 17; 2 Samuel 21:15-22 and 1 Chronicles 20:4-7) The book I am reading is Called Giant Killers and it goes though a different kind of appoach to Giants in peoples lives and a biblical way to declare freedom. I am excited to see what God is going to do and where God is going to take me.