there is beauty in waiting

As I look back over the past 6 years since I graduated high school, I have come to realize nothing had come out the way i wanted it to. I had my life planned graduate, go to college, find a husband, and be done with school all by the age of 25 25 is slowly approaching..Ekk that's scary... Now this is not going to be a poor me post because i have not accomplished any of what I thought I should be doing. Yet the past few nights while everyone else has gone to sleep the Lord has kept me up to just sit...not even read the Word...to just sit and be silent in his presence..As much as my heart longs to be finished with school and to have love....I am so glad my life has not turned out the way I thought it should. I am sitting in the same place i was 6 years ago heading in to hopefully my last year and half of college, in Lubbock where i wanted out of so bad. .... SO I am learning there is so much beauty in Waiting..as much as we hate the word when our parents tell us to wait, or friends tell us to wait ...or when GOD tells us to wait...there is so much beauty in it...you see i have done so much these past six years in my waiting that some people may never do..

• I have found out that God is so much more than the Box we put Him in. We will never be satisfied, until we satisfy God, we were made FOR GOD and FOR HIS PURPOSES.
• The Bible is a fascinating book..you should read it.. because i was able to go on trips we were encouraged to read the Bible in its entirety..then seeing the physical places in Israel
• Prayer has changed my life. If i would have gotten everything i asked for the first time i asked...i don't think i would of ever sought out in prayer the way i have. You see prayer is infectious when you pray, you cant stop. When you know God answers prayers big and small you can spend 12 hours in prayer and it will feel like prayer. Then last year my life radically changed going to One thing in Kansas City.
• Love-All of life comes down to love. Its like a fire. The Holy Spirit Has come to Pour his spirit on us. He doesn't want a mindless multitude.Love the Lord with all your heart with all your soul and all your mind and strength.. You will never Love God until you first Let God love you.. This journey of waiting though has taught me so much about how God created us. He created us for love and there is nothing wrong with that, it is what we do with those passions. The reality of Hollywood, pornography, adultery, and self injury and any other thing that takes the place of the wrong kind of love is what we put in the place of Love. You see we were made to love..never apologize for that... every time you choose righteousness..that's Love, obedience...God is pursuing us...
• Well and speaking of love anyone who knows me knows I get so tired of waiting for that Man God has for me, but while waiting...God has given me amazing opportunities to Let God Love me and show me what kind of wife i need to be, how to pray for my husband. In the moments of those "dates" He has been so faithful to let me know its not time, even though its hard to let go, I know i am not settling one bit. Also the Lord has planted me in my ministry now , where i thought i would have to wait to serve til i got married.
• As i am about to start another semester of school at LCU, this season of waiting has changed my heart about my destiny....i never thought i would be in the position of leadership, or on a prayer team, or back in Lubbock; The beauty is His thoughts are not our thoughts His ways are not our ways....but How do i know i am right where God wants me to be...I laugh..someone shared at prayer night ...you know your dreams and plans are from God when you laugh at them..So I am still praying and still waiting!